Super Conference Smoothie

I’m looking forward to next weekend’s Oklahoma Writers Federation, Inc., conference.

Liz won’t be able to attend, and that will be the only downside to the trip.

The upside is I get to hobnob with fellow writers and some of the movers and shakers in the writing profession. I get to be of service as well by volunteering to be a shepherd and a go-fer.

During the past five-six years, the workshops/sessions I’ve attended have rarely yielded anything I don’t already know. I’ve written long enough, have had a dozen book sales, and read several writer/editor/agent blogs and writing news, so I know the game.

So, why attend?

Simple answer: I need a pep talk. I need to hear someone chide me for not doing what I should be doing everyday. I need my ego bruised and my envy at the success of others to rise to the top.

I need a quick kick in my writing butt, is what I need.

I don’t think of writing conferences as “learning something new” but as a spiritual retreat to renew my vows to Tell-Tale story making.

I recently changed my eating, drinking, and exercising habits, which are parallel to changing my writing habits.

I eat as much protein as possible, nearly cut out all fat products, am conscience of my choices in a restaurant.

I power walk 12-15 miles a week. I’ve gone from doing a 2.5k in 50 minutes to doing a 5K in 39 minutes in one year. I do resistance exercises on those days I don’t power walk.

I make sure to get eight to nine hours of sleep a night.

I’ve stopped drinking nearly all colas, fruit juices, and other “unnatural” drinks.

One of my new favorite habits is a SuperFood Smoothie I quaff on a daily basis--and I’m working on developing a SuperWriting Smoothie to get my tell-tale career up and going on a daily basis once again.

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Larry Mike’s SuperFood Smoothie

½ cup blueberries
½ cup strawberries
3 slices grapefruit (remove pits)
½ banana
1 cup plain nonfat yogurt
½ cup skim milk
½ tsp ginger
¼ tsp nutmeg
¼ tsp chili powder (optional)
1 square unsweetened (baking) 100% dark cocoa
2 to 4 drops pure vanilla extract (according to taste)

I like using frozen berries as this makes for a chilly, nearly frozen smoothie drink.

Chop up the cocoa square into small pieces.
Put all ingredients in a blender and fire up the blades!
When all is liquefied, pour in your favorite drinking vessel and enjoy!

Makes one serving. Double or triple or quadruple for serving to family and friends.

Can freeze for later--make it overnight, freeze it, take it to work for a nice mid-morning repast.

Some optional additions to make the SuperFood Smoothie interesting. Choose one, not all, unless you want to make it really interesting:

2 ozs vanilla vodka
2 ozs red wine
2 ozs plum wine
2 ozs Irish whiskey
2 ozs tequila

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I must constantly remind myself to write everyday. To tell the stories in my head that are yearning to be free.

My SuperFood Smoothie has now become a daily habit, a ritual, something I don’t miss on a daily basis.

And, constructive writing everyday is becoming a habit once more. My mind and soul don’t like to miss a day without writing

There’s no great secret to staying healthy: Just eat what I know is good and healthy for me. Change my cravings from those foods that contribute little to my physical, emotional, and spiritual well being. Eat Super Foods.

There’s no great secret to writing: Just write. Put down one word. Then put down another word after it. Put my fingers on the keys and tap downward with a purpose. Change my cravings from those distractions that don’t contribute to my tell-tale story making. Write Super Tales.

Oh, I still have a pizza or ice cream or candy every now and then; however, the taste is not really as satisfying as it once was, and my body yells, “What the Hell was that? Where’s the Super Food, buddy boy?”

And, I still watch brainless TV shows on occasion; however, after a bit of watching, Myself says, “What the Hell you doing? Laynie or Sati or Whatever-Character is waiting for you to get back to their tales, and you’re pissing them off!”

Eat well.
Write Well.

Larry Mike

Currying Favor with Salmon (Is it Sal-mon or Sa-man?)

The 44th Annual OWFI conference is in two weeks. It's theme is Story Weavers, and we've got some great folk coming to speak and teach.

I have been blessed to be one of the shepherds, and I get to shepherd the remarkable Chuck Sambuchino--pick him up at the airport, make sure he has what he needs at the conference, introduce him at the sessions, and make sure he makes his flight at the end of the conference.I’ve read his blog for quite some time, and am excited about finally meeting him.Being a writer is more than just writing. It’s about service as well. I’ve always done something at the OWFI conferences I’ve attended--volunteering to be a shepherd at the first one before I even knew anyone or knew what OWFI was all about.

I had to miss last year’s OWFI for personal reasons, and I vowed then I wouldn’t miss another one no matter the reason short of life-or-death.

The speakers/presenters who come to OWFI conferences are highly impressed with the professionalism and personableness of OWFI folk, and it’s people like the shepherds and other volunteers that make it so.

Sometimes, OWFI is a speaker’s or presenter’s first visit to Oklahoma. It’s up to me (and the others) to make sure they leave knowing they are welcomed, appreciated, and a part of our OWFI family.



The last time I was a shepherd I got to usher the knowledgeable Josh Getzler around. I remember he had an impromptu session at the bar after Saturday’s duties were done. During our friendly talks between sessions and such, I had learned of Josh’s enjoyment of a particular drink, and while wide-eyed writers were picking Josh’s well-honed brain about the writing business and craft I was whispering to a few what his favorite drink is, and Josh was quite surprised when a refreshed beverage showed up in his hand every few questions.

Currying favor with those who are successful in our little profession is very important, not simply for the sake of self-serving desires, but because it’s the nice thing to do.
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Larry Mike's Curry Mustard Salmon Patties

• 1 can (16 ounces) salmon
• 1 medium onion, finely grated
• 2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley
• ¼ tsp ground black pepper
• ½ tsp curry
• ¼ tsp cayenne pepper
• 1 tsp dry mustard
• ¼ tps garlic
• 2 large eggs, well beaten
• 1 to 1 1/2 cups fine dry bread crumbs
• 3 tablespoons butter
• 3 tablespoons shortening

Preparation:

1. Turn salmon and ¾ liquid into a medium mixing bowl.
2. Flake with a fork, removing OR mashing any bones (they are edible).
3. Mix in onion, parsley, mustard, garlic, curry, cayenne pepper, and pepper.
4. Mix beaten eggs with salmon.
5. Add enough bread crumbs, about 1/2 to 3/4 cup, to make thick enough to shape into 12 small patties.
6. Roll patties in 1/2 cup bread crumbs.
7. In a large heavy skillet over low heat, melt 2 tablespoons of butter; add patties.
8. Fry patties slowly on one side; add remaining butter, turn patties, and fry until brown on the other side.

Serves 6.

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The Writing Profession is a Family Business. We are brothers and sisters in a craft as old as humankind. Some of us, though, have forgotten this. Some of us have forgotten that making and keeping friends--writers, agents, editors, publishers--is important.

The best selling book rarely makes it up the list without “family” help.

To some “currying favor” is brown nosing, sucking up, and selling out.

As I writer who has had some modicum of success, I still curry the favor of others, not just for the sake of doing something to please them to meet my own means but because I’m a friendly guy with some talent and drive and I realize that I need others to help me along in my craft.

Besides, it’s just the nice thing to do.

No man is island. No writer is wholly successful solely by his own efforts.

Eat well.
Write well.

Larry Mike

The Downside of the OWFI Conference (or Any Writing Conference)

Okay, so here's the downside of the recently concluded Oklahoma Writers Federation, Inc. Conference:

You returned home Saturday evening or Sunday morning.

You're stoked. The fires were lit, fanned, and constantly refueled with words of wisdom and encouragement from editors, agents, speakers, and experienced writers.

An inferno of creativeness, determination, and confidence is blasting from you like the Krakatoa volcano

This incendiary feeling will last from two days to two weeks.

But, it will burn itself out. Before you know it, one or two embers remain, and soon they have barely a faint orange glow and not putting off much inspirational heat.

Then the last flicker goes out, and you think, "Shit, what just happened?"

Welcome to the junkie writer's world of conference adrenaline rush addiction.

It happens to all of us, especially the newbies and those most hungry.

What happens when you discover that last dying ember is about to extinguish itself?

You keep writing. 

You fan and refuel the fire yourself. You push yourself to do what you know you must do, what you dream about doing--you write no matter what.

The muses of writing won't do for you what you won't do for yourself--write!

In fact, you inspired yourself to attend the convention in the first place, so you already have it within you to push yourself to be a successful writer.

Now comes the hard part--doing this every day with every breath you take.

Copy the following and tape to the wall just by your monitor or make it your screensaver:

1. Taking a writing class . . . is not writing.

2. Therapy . . . is not writing.

3. Reading books about writing . . . is not writing.

4. Completing "writing" exercises . . . is not writing.

5. Feeling guilty all week for not writing . . . is not writing.

6. Attending a weekly, bi-monthly, monthly writing/critique group . . . is not writing.

7. Attending an interesting, dynamic, and inspirational writer's conference . . . is not writing.

8. Writing . . . is writing.

And that's it in a nutshell.

The Oklahoma Writers Federation annual conference is one of the best in the nation and each year provides an excellent agenda for newbies, oldies, unpublished, multipublished, and the curious.

Yes, it can be inspirational. Yes, it can rekindle a dying flame. Yes, it can even bring about an agent or editor contract.

But, neither the OWFI conference or any writing conference can do the one thing you are solely responsible for doing:

Inspiring yourself each day to do the hard task of putting butt to chair, finger tips to keys, and mind to the writing task at hand.

I liken this to BBQing. The best white-crested orange coals for BBQing are those which, when lit, are slow to burn, spread evenly, and then the flame disappears as it moves slowly into the briquette itself.

Once that flame moves within the briquette, you never see the flame itself, but you do feel the heat, and you see, hear, and smell the sizzle as it does what it's suppose to do--produce a succulent and satisfying meal you can taste and savor.

Of course, there's always that yahoo BBQer who buys self-lighting charcoal and then soaks the briquettes with lighter fluid. There's a very nice explosion of flame and surge of heat, but it dies quickly, and the charcoal never really gets the chance to suck in the flame so it can burn slowly from the inside out.

So, what about you and the OWFI conference or any writer's conference you may have recently attended?

Are you the self-lighting charcoal that burns slowly on the outside and then ignites on the inside--a steady, determined white-crested orange glow?

Or, are you the charcoal that allowed your writer's conference to soak you with fuel and then engulf you in a flame that will die out quickly and produce nothing?


See you on the bookshelves.

Larry Mike Garmon

The Perfunctory Blog Everyone Writes about WHAT I LEARNED at the SCBWI-OK Writer's Conference

It's all about the story.


See you on the bookshelves.

Larry Mike Garmon