The 44th Annual OWFI conference is in two weeks. It's theme is Story Weavers, and we've got some great folk coming to speak and teach.
I have been blessed to be one of the shepherds, and I get to shepherd the remarkable Chuck Sambuchino--pick him up at the airport, make sure he has what he needs at the conference, introduce him at the sessions, and make sure he makes his flight at the end of the conference.I’ve read his blog for quite some time, and am excited about finally meeting him.Being a writer is more than just writing. It’s about service as well. I’ve always done something at the OWFI conferences I’ve attended--volunteering to be a shepherd at the first one before I even knew anyone or knew what OWFI was all about.
I had to miss last year’s OWFI for personal reasons, and I vowed then I wouldn’t miss another one no matter the reason short of life-or-death.
The speakers/presenters who come to OWFI conferences are highly impressed with the professionalism and personableness of OWFI folk, and it’s people like the shepherds and other volunteers that make it so.
Sometimes, OWFI is a speaker’s or presenter’s first visit to Oklahoma. It’s up to me (and the others) to make sure they leave knowing they are welcomed, appreciated, and a part of our OWFI family.
The last time I was a shepherd I got to usher the knowledgeable Josh Getzler around. I remember he had an impromptu session at the bar after Saturday’s duties were done. During our friendly talks between sessions and such, I had learned of Josh’s enjoyment of a particular drink, and while wide-eyed writers were picking Josh’s well-honed brain about the writing business and craft I was whispering to a few what his favorite drink is, and Josh was quite surprised when a refreshed beverage showed up in his hand every few questions.
Currying favor with those who are successful in our little profession is very important, not simply for the sake of self-serving desires, but because it’s the nice thing to do.
--------------------------------------------------------
Larry Mike's Curry Mustard Salmon Patties
- 1 can (16 ounces) salmon
- 1 medium onion, finely grated
- 2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley
- ¼ tsp ground black pepper
- ½ tsp curry
- ¼ tsp cayenne pepper
- 1 tsp dry mustard
- ¼ tps garlic
- 2 large eggs, well beaten
- 1 to 1 1/2 cups fine dry bread crumbs
- 3 tablespoons butter
- 3 tablespoons shortening
Preparation:
- Turn salmon and ¾ liquid into a medium mixing bowl.
- Flake with a fork, removing OR mashing any bones (they are edible).
- Mix in onion, parsley, mustard, garlic, curry, cayenne pepper, and pepper.
- Mix beaten eggs with salmon.
- Add enough bread crumbs, about 1/2 to 3/4 cup, to make thick enough to shape into 12 small patties.
- Roll patties in 1/2 cup bread crumbs.
- In a large heavy skillet over low heat, melt 2 tablespoons of butter; add patties.
- Fry patties slowly on one side; add remaining butter, turn patties, and fry until brown on the other side.
Serves 6.
--------------------------------------------------------
The Writing Profession is a Family Business. We are brothers and sisters in a craft as old as humankind. Some of us, though, have forgotten this. Some of us have forgotten that making and keeping friends--writers, agents, editors, publishers--is important.
The best selling book rarely makes it up the list without “family” help.
To some “currying favor” is brown nosing, sucking up, and selling out.
As I writer who has had some modicum of success, I still curry the favor of others, not just for the sake of doing something to please them to meet my own means but because I’m a friendly guy with some talent and drive and I realize that I need others to help me along in my craft.
Besides, it’s just the nice thing to do.
No man is island. No writer is wholly successful solely by his own efforts.
Eat well.
Write well.
Larry Mike
If you don't write "alwrong" for "all wrong", then why do you write "alright" for "all right"?
As an English teacher and an avid reader, my Inner Editor rarely shuts down.
Sometimes, I'm reading something and Inner Editor will shout out, "Oh, that's just so wrong!" I.E. has the words out of my mouth before my Inner Self-Control can stop them, and then others around me look at me in strange and condemning ways.
Sometimes, I.E. is operating at full capacity, as when I'm grading essays and research papers, readying another writer's draft, or scrounging through my own writing.
Sometimes, I.E. is at half capacity, as when I'm reading a published book or article and come across poor grammar, bad spelling, confused words, et cetera.
Sometimes, I.E. is shut down way low, as when I'm reading my local newspaper's articles, emails from my principal or friends, or notes from parents. The newspaper articles, emails, and notes are so poorly constructed, spelled, and lacking strong word choice that I've learned to ignore the lack of proper writing skills and just try to decode message hidden among the bad grammar, misspellings, poor word choices contained within the newspaper articles, emails, or notes for a bit of understanding.
Once while traveling by plane, I had brought along a book that came highly recommended by another writer because I had a couple of hours between flights. Once in the terminal, I parked my arse on the hard plastic chair, opened the book, and began reading earnestly.
I.E. began screaming "all most" from the first sentence. I don't remember the book (I tend to repress bad memories), but I do remember the terrible editing.
Not remembering the story, plot, characters, setting, and themes of a work but remembering the terrible editing tells you what kind of impression this novel, this story, made on me. Actually, I was cursing first the writer who wrote the errors and then double cursing the editor who let the errors slip past his red pen.
What I remember most about the book (which I stopped reading after page 32) is the use of the word "alright".
Not once was this phrase used correctly in this supposedly well-written book. Not in dialogue, not in inner thought, not in narrative. Not once.
"All right" was used "alwrong" throughout the pages I read.
As with "alot", "alright" doesn't exist in the English language except in student essays, principal's emails, parents' notes, and our local newspapers' articles, as well as stories poorly edited by so-called editors who should know better.
So how did all right become alright?
Alright as a one-word spelling of the phrase all right probably arose by analogy with such words as already and altogether. Although alright is a common spelling in written dialogue and in other types of informal writing, all right is used in more formal, edited writing.
And story stories, non-fiction articles, and novels are supposed to be "formal, edited writing".
The problem is that we have writers and editors who were never taught that "alright" is all wrong and were allowed to get away with such poor writing skills in elementary school, high school, college, and grad school and are ignorant of their blundering.
So, poorly edited books are thrust upon a reading public with such words as "alright" replete throughout the story.
In "alhonesty", the vast majority of the reading public probably doesn't know the difference any way, so why should writers and editors care?
I don't know the difference between the chemical make-up of aspirin and cyanide, but I certainly hope the manufacturer who does know the difference doesn't get lazy or tired or distracted one day and confuse the two, alright?.
If we don't write "alwrong" for "all wrong", then why do we write "alright" for "all right"?
Because we're lazy, we're ignorant of the error, and we've got editors who don't know any better and, like those errant teachers of our school days, allow us to get away with poor writing.
Do a manuscript word find. How many "alright" errors are highlighted, including dialogue? (Exclude the dialectal "awright").
Although, "alright" will almost certainly slip past the young editor right out of college or grad school where he wasn't corrected on his poor writing skills, that doesn't mean the writer, the true wordsmith and craftsman, must tolerate poor writing skill.s
See you on the bookshelves.
Larry Mike Garmon
What' I'm reading now: Dashiell Hammett's short story anthology The Continental Op.
My wish list for the week:
1. A coffee cup that refills itself.
2. Ten more hours in my day.
3. Two sets of hands and two computers so I can type my story with one set of hands and one computer while I write my blog, network, grade student papers, critique my buddies' stories, and troll the Internet with the other pair of hands and the second computer.
Fickle is a good word to describe the pleasures of agents, editors, and publishers. At times I think "arbitrary and capricious" are more fitting.
In the days of old, an agent and the publisher would actually help to build a writer's career. A writer wrote, an agent sold, and a publisher published two or three or five small, good but unimportant novels to help the writer become known and established (much like 1960's groups pressing local and regional 45 rpm records). This is how a writer learned his craft and earned his chops --the pre-digital world's version of platform building.
Because that process is expensively prohibited now days, writers spend much time in college creative writing classes, attending seminars, participating in workshops, gathering at conferences, and workshopping with critique buddies to hone their craft and earn their chops.
Nowadays, each agent and each editor seek that next blockbuster novel and series rather than take a writer under his/her wing and develop him/her into a blockbuster writer.
Plus, every writer is trying to write that next blockbuster novel and series instead of just writing good stories as he/she learns her craft.
Serious writers spend much time researching agents and editors to learn what they are buying to sell.
Serious writers spend much time in market research to see what the public is buying from the sellers.
Then I read a comment like this from one of my favorite agent bloggers: "It's really all subjective when you get right down to it. I might not like your submission today, but if I had gotten it two weeks later, I might ask to see the entire manuscript."
Sometimes I feel as though they just walk outside and hold their fingers to the wind. Or, just toss up several slush pile queries and the one that lands face up, they ask the harried writer to send the entire manuscript.
In reality, I know agents and editors are just like me and you--we love books and we love to tell stories. A writer who approaches the agent and editor side of writing as though the agent and the editor are sharks or worms or haters of books had best become good friends with Lulu or AuthorHouse.
As with you and many other writers, I read several agent and editor blogs, and several of the agents and editors post queries, making comments about what they like and what they don't like about the hundreds of submitted queries and such.
From their comments, I surmise they are indeed at times "arbitrary and capricious" -- some even admit to breaking their own submission rules to accept a query's idea because they like the story's premise.
One even admitted, "There really aren't any rules" despite her agency's "strict submission rules" on her website.
Learning this is like learning Santa doesn't really exist--confusion, mistrust, frustration, and even anger swirl through me like small dust devils on a hot Southwest Oklahoma afternoon. (How's that for a mixed metaphor, eh?)
Perhaps it's the hundreds of thousands of years of male evolution screaming out from within me, but I like rules, and I like when the rules are followed. Makes my life so much easier..
Sometimes I feel like I'm riding a commuter train in India and the editors and agents are the conductors, all of whom are grabbing at the controls because each believes he/she knows how to drive better than the other; yet, few actually have a conductor's license.
As with you, I enter any contest that puts me closer to an editor, agent, and publisher.
I haven't made any of the winning lists yet--win, place, or show.
However, the same novel I have submitted to these monthly contests from which I have yet to receive a win, place, or show I have also submitted to agents and editors over the past few weeks.
So far, three out of five agents to whom I submitted this same novel have asked to see the entire manuscript and are reading it now (I hope I haven't just jinxed myself).
One of the agents who is reading my novel for representation was a judge in one of those contests that I didn't win, place, or show. I didn't even make the top 20 list.
But, now she's reading the same novel I had submitted to her for the contest because she found it to be a "unique and interesting idea" as well as "witty with a strong voice and well written."
Interesting, huh?
Writers and Agents are Lovers groping for each other in the dark--trying to figure out how to please his/her partner while not abandoning his/her own desires in the process.
See you on the bookshelves.
Larry Mike Garmon
PS: This blog was inspired by writing friend Helen Robertson who recently placed third in a monthly submission contest with an entry I had read and helped critique last fall--it's a very good story and will see print one day. Helen had submitted her entry to another contest and was soundly rejected by that one. She wrote to our Yahoo Group to show how fickle this whole business really is, and, thus, inspired me to blog about it.
