The Hardy Boys and the Case of the First Sale

Three months. I had waited long enough. How long does it take to read a one-page query and two sample chapters? I'm not an impatient fellow, but THREE MONTHS? I could have written the whole book and started another in that amount of time.

The Hardy Boys could have solved this mystery in two seconds.

I called information in New York City for the phone number of Mega-Books, Inc., the packager who was responsible for publishing the new Hardy Boys Casefiles mass market paperbacks.

A woman with an accent distinctively not Oklahoman but otherwise cheery answered the phone, and after I explained my concern, she put me on hold. A few moments later, a man who identified himself as Mark asked if he could help me. His accent also was distinctively not Oklahoman but his tone was sleepy or perhaps indifferent or perhaps overwrought.

I told Mark I had sent a query with two sample chapters about a Hardy Boys Casefile in which the Boys bust an international drug ring run by a mysterious character called The Colonel, and I was concerned because I hadn't heard a reply concerning my idea in three months. 

I was nervous but determined and hoped I sounded assertive and professional and not like some desperate psycho writer.

I heard a shuffling of papers through the earpiece. A few moments later he said, "Oh, the drug story. We can't use it."

A pause. A pregnant pause. A pregnant pause from which no birth was forthcoming!

First novel: Hardy Boys Casefiles: Running on Empty

I was hoping I hadn't audibly gasped at the news that my great idea was rejected, and if I had gasped, I was hoping he hadn't heard my breathed disappointment. A thousand questions went through my mind, the foremost of which was, "Why?"

So I asked it.

"We stay away from certain topics: sex, drugs, you know, adult themes."

Wait. I had done my homework on the new Hardy Boys Casefiles series. Before sending off my proposal, I had bought the first three in the series (only five had been published at the time of my phone call three months later), and I had read and re-read, noted and denoted, underlined, highlighted, and scribbled marginalia in, about, and for each one. I had inscribed upon pages and pages of yellow paper analysis of characters, settings, sentence structure, themes, plot devices, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

I had done enough research to complete a Hardy Boys Casefiles master's degree . The series had been started to keep high school boys interested in the franchise. I knew that. The series was a bit more serious than the middle reader series. I knew that. In the new series, the Hardy brothers used guns, fist-fought evildoers, flew jets, had credit cards, and used rougher language. I knew that. Frank and Joe actually kissed girls in the Casefiles series. I knew all of that.

Hardy Boys Casefiles: Running on Empty--Was "run" gonig to be in all the titles?

My first proposal was to make the series even edgier. After all, in the very first Casefiles novel a car bomb planted by terrorists had blown up Joe's long-time girlfriend (since the 1930's!). So why not have the brothers destroy a drug cartel that had infiltrated Bayport?

"We stay away from certain topics: drugs, sex, you know, adult themes."

My mind raced with and then erased completely all the ideas and dreams I had of being a published writer, or being able one day to tell others I had gotten my start ghostwriting Hardy Boys mysteries.

I was opening my mouth to talk the editor into reconsidering his decision when he blurted out, "If you'll send me another idea, one we can use, I'll consider it."
There was hope.

Originally called "City of Fear", the only time I have been asked to change a title and come up with a different title in my 14 novels.

I wrote another query, wrote two chapters for the proposal, and sent it all off within ten days. This time, I had the editor's name and addressed everything to him with a reminder about and a thank you for our conversation.

Another three months! Egad and golly gee! Frank and Joe could have defeated all the world's terrorists, cleaned up the environment, and brought The Beatles back together by that time!

So, I called again and asked for Mark personally.

I again heard the shuffling of papers through the earpiece.

"We can't use it. It doesn't fit our needs."

Two personal rejections. I was hurt, and then I was mad. With both queries and sample chapters, I had sent the prerequisite SASE return envelope and had not received the perfunctory rejection form letter. Instead, I had been rejected verbally—twice.

I was set to tell Mark that I didn't appreciate NOT getting my rejection form letters when he said, "You know, we can't use your ideas, but you write well. I'll tell you what, I'll give you an idea, you write up a précis, an outline, and the first four chapters, and I'm sure we'll use you."

He threw out an idea, and I said, "Okay" and then "Thank you", and got to work.

This was fun. It came out just before the fall of the Berlin Wall, and everyone thought I was a genius prognosticator!

One month later, I returned home from teaching and heard the following message on my answering machine, "Mike, I've sent your précis and sample chapters to Simon and Schuster. Give me a call so we can discuss the story in detail. There're some things about it we want you to be sure to include. You should be receiving the bible in a few days and a contract."

First sale. Case closed.

Epilogue:
One year and four more sales later, I was in New York City, having been invited by Bonnie, the new editor of the Hardy Boys Casefiles series. I had only worked with Mark on that first book, and he had since changed roles within Mega-Books. During that one year, I had sold Mega-Books more Hardy Boys Casefiles stories than any of their other ghostwriters, and Bonnie wanted to meet me.

I arrived in New York City in the afternoon and Bonnie took me to dinner. Mark came along also.

Foul Play was inspired by my nephew's baseball card collection.

Feeling confident, I told Mark of my anxiety and disappointment about the rejection of the first two ideas and how upset I had been and how my SASEs were never used. I then thanked Mark for giving me the idea for the first book and having confidence in me as a writer.

Bonnie laughed and said, "Mark was just trying to get rid of you."

I was stunned. I looked at Mark. He turned a bit red.

"He thought you were just some nut because you kept calling him and pestering him. No one does that in this business unless he's crazy. He thought if he humored you long enough, you'd give up."

I was flabbergasted and couldn't say anything.

I became ill while writing this and couldn't finish it. I wrote about half and another writer finished it.

"What Mark didn't realize is that you are crazy, but you're persistent. And it doesn't hurt that you're a good writer."

I didn't know at the time it was against the rules to hound an editor with phone calls. I didn't know there were any rules at all. The Internet wasn't around then, and so no websites putting forth do's and don't's of submissions and follow ups.

I wouldn't do that now. I know better. And I'm wiser. And I'm more confident and not as anxious. I have plenty to keep me busy while waiting for the editor or agent to get back to me.

Whether you get your foot in the door, slide in through the basement window, sneak in the backdoor, or climb the ivy to the second floor window, it doesn't matter. Just get yourself into the House whatever way you can!

See you on the bookshelves.

Larry Mike Garmon

The Fickle Finger of Fate, Agents, Editors, & Lovers

What' I'm reading now: Dashiell Hammett's short story anthology The Continental Op.

My wish list for the week:

1. A coffee cup that refills itself.
2. Ten more hours in my day.
3. Two sets of hands and two computers so I can type my story with one set of hands and one computer while I write my blog, network, grade student papers, critique my buddies' stories, and troll the Internet with the other pair of hands and the second computer.

Fickle is a good word to describe the pleasures of agents, editors, and publishers. At times I think "arbitrary and capricious" are more fitting.

In the days of old, an agent and the publisher would actually help to build a writer's career. A writer wrote, an agent sold, and a publisher published two or three or five small, good but unimportant novels to help the writer become known and established (much like 1960's groups pressing local and regional 45 rpm records). This is how a writer learned his craft and earned his chops --the pre-digital world's version of platform building.

Because that process is expensively prohibited now days, writers spend much time in college creative writing classes, attending seminars, participating in workshops, gathering at conferences, and workshopping with critique buddies to hone their craft and earn their chops.

Nowadays, each agent and each editor seek that next blockbuster novel and series rather than take a writer under his/her wing and develop him/her into a blockbuster writer.

Plus, every writer is trying to write that next blockbuster novel and series instead of just writing good stories as he/she learns her craft.

Serious writers spend much time researching agents and editors to learn what they are buying to sell.

Serious writers spend much time in market research to see what the public is buying from the sellers.

Then I read a comment like this from one of my favorite agent bloggers: "It's really all subjective when you get right down to it. I might not like your submission today, but if I had gotten it two weeks later, I might ask to see the entire manuscript."

Sometimes I feel as though they just walk outside and hold their fingers to the wind. Or, just toss up several slush pile queries and the one that lands face up, they ask the harried writer to send the entire manuscript.

In reality, I know agents and editors are just like me and you--we love books and we love to tell stories. A writer who approaches the agent and editor side of writing as though the agent and the editor are sharks or worms or haters of books had best become good friends with Lulu or AuthorHouse.

As with you and many other writers, I read several agent and editor blogs, and several of the agents and editors post queries, making comments about what they like and what they don't like about the hundreds of submitted queries and such.

From their comments, I surmise they are indeed at times "arbitrary and capricious" -- some even admit to breaking their own submission rules to accept a query's idea because they like the story's premise.

One even admitted, "There really aren't any rules" despite her agency's "strict submission rules" on her website.

Learning this is like learning Santa doesn't really exist--confusion, mistrust, frustration, and even anger swirl through me like small dust devils on a hot Southwest Oklahoma afternoon. (How's that for a mixed metaphor, eh?)

Perhaps it's the hundreds of thousands of years of male evolution screaming out from within me, but I like rules, and I like when the rules are followed. Makes my life so much easier..

Sometimes I feel like I'm riding a commuter train in India and the editors and agents are the conductors, all of whom are grabbing at the controls because each believes he/she knows how to drive better than the other; yet, few actually have a conductor's license.

As with you, I enter any contest that puts me closer to an editor, agent, and publisher.

I haven't made any of the winning lists yet--win, place, or show.

However, the same novel I have submitted to these monthly contests from which I have yet to receive a win, place, or show I have also submitted to agents and editors over the past few weeks.

So far, three out of five agents to whom I submitted this same novel have asked to see the entire manuscript and are reading it now (I hope I haven't just jinxed myself).

One of the agents who is reading my novel for representation was a judge in one of those contests that I didn't win, place, or show. I didn't even make the top 20 list.

But, now she's reading the same novel I had submitted to her for the contest because she found it to be a "unique and interesting idea" as well as "witty with a strong voice and well written."

Interesting, huh?

Writers and Agents are Lovers groping for each other in the dark--trying to figure out how to please his/her partner while not abandoning his/her own desires in the process.

See you on the bookshelves.

Larry Mike Garmon

PS: This blog was inspired by writing friend Helen Robertson who recently placed third in a monthly submission contest with an entry I had read and helped critique last fall--it's a very good story and will see print one day. Helen had submitted her entry to another contest and was soundly rejected by that one. She wrote to our Yahoo Group to show how fickle this whole business really is, and, thus, inspired me to blog about it.

Sign My Kindle, Please

The day is soon upon us when books will become as quaint as 33 1/3 long playing records.

Someone somewhere at sometime in the not-too-distant future will want to hold a nice warm book in his hands, absorb the words on the paper, stroke the texture of the pages, inhale the musty tinge of the pulp.



Friends and family will visit him and marvel (with a bit of a silent giggle) at his row upon row of yellowed, cracked, and fusty volumes. They will eye his nostalgic clinging to a bygone era with sympathetic woefulness in the same manner we judge the senile uncle who is constantly misplacing his dentures.

Bookstores will go the way of the carriage house and the farrier. Books-A-Million, Hastings, Borders will all either close permanently, turn to other products, or will vendor only used books—have “Nostalgia Sales”.

Home bookshelves will now house bric-a-brac, electronic photo frames flashing hundreds of photos of family and friends—or remain empty—or be taken down altogether just as front yard hitching posts were pushed over.

Penguin USA ebook sales increased 300% last year. Penguin concludes that low-priced ebooks are most attractive to paperback buyers. According to Publisher's Weekly, e-book sales accounted for over $100 million in sales last year. Two years ago, sales were barely at $1 million. Makes one ponder, it does.

Saddest among the causalities will be the book signing—which, after the actual publication of the book itself, is the most rewarding event an author experiences.

No more will an author sit proudly at his table, displayed with his latest creative work; no more quick casual chit-chats with a fan who tells him how much she likes what he has written; no more cramped but happy fingers at the end of the two-hour ego-swelling book signing.

Instead, the fan will receive the prized autograph in one of two ways—perhaps both if she is an avid fan.

The first—a scrawled signature download from Amazon or the publisher or the author’s website—for a fee, of course.

The second—an actual handwritten author autograph on the front edges or the back of the Kindle or Sony e-reader—perhaps joining the signatures of other writers.

Or perhaps a slip-on cover of the book for the Kindle or Sony e-reader will come with a novel’s download. Then the author has a “Meet the Author” at an internet café or the lobby at a Wi-Fi hotel, and the avid fan will with giddy glee hand the author her electronic reader with the appropriate cover, saying, “Would you please sign my Kindle? ‘To Molly’, if you please. I’ve downloaded all your books and take them with me everywhere I go!” –Or, perhaps he sells the slip-on book covers at his table!

And with his Ultra Fine Point Sharpie in hand, the proud author presses the felt tip to the hard metallic “book” and writes, “To Molly—an avid fan—keep downloading! All the Best—Larry Mike Garmon”.